It is not enough. It has never been enough.


I made a load of greetings cards cutting out “romantic” (nope) SEXY sentences from Mills & Boon romance novels.

I thought hey, I should try this with 50 Shades.

Sweethearts, I got 2 snippets from the entire book that weren’t skin-crawlingly bad. Like REALLY bad. Everything about the way it’s written is pretty bad. Bad

Bad bad bad

A friend of mine read the entire Twilight and 50 Shades series and liveblogged them to me via email. And half the time I replied with “you’re making this up, that’s not really what’s happening” (mostly with Twilight, not like 50 Shades has any plot to speak of), but apparently the books are really that awful. Although, now that I think of it, I think there’s a tumblr with the worst 50 Shades quotes. I should look that up again.

Other fun times: a colleague of mine once gave an excerpt from Twilight to her students and told them to edit it. In the end they all agreed that basically that entire passage should be scrapped. ;)

(Source: linndechir)

Irked fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.

Jacqueline Lichtenberg in Fic by Anne Jamison (via treizquatorz)

Love it.

(via marybegone)

OMG, the next fanfic gathering or workshop or blog should totally be called The Irritated Oyster.  I’m getting bunnies for the logo as I type. 

(via drinkingcocoa-tpp)

(via gloriousmonsters)

Oh please sombody do the thing and find good quotes from 50shades. I’ve never read this book but now I wanna know what he’d quote. Please?

I’ve read neither Twilight nor 50 Shades, so I really don’t know. Someone help? Someone write crackfic for me in which Ben quotes 50 Shades of Bad Porn at Sid?

What a horrible thought. Ben would probably side with Edward.

Ben so would. “Hey, Sid, are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?” - “I’m Team Burn Every Copy Of This Book.” Poor Sid. The things he has to put up with. He’ll just find Ben a hooker who loves those books so Ben can talk to her, while Sid goes home to his tea and his violin and maybe complains a little to Terry.

sashiljes just asked me which one of Ben/Sid would read 50 Shades of Bad Porn (after first making me imagine Ben reading Twilight).

Cut to the mental image of Ben loudly quoting 50 Shades at Sid and suggesting they try out some of that stuff while Sid is screaming internally and wondering why the hell he loves that idiot.